In our continued celebration of Werewolf Week and the May 16 release of Teen Wolf Season One on DVD, we offer you this humble little survival guide.
Are you a teenager? Have you been bitten by a wolf like creature in the last month? Was it under a full moon? Are you noticing yourself changing in unimaginable ways? Then there’s a very good chance you were bitten by a… WEREWOLF!
OK, you now have less than a month before the full moon returns and with it your first transformation into a TEEN WOLF (see how it all ties together!)… Don’t panic, this guide has been written to help you survive the first few difficult months and understand your new abilities.
Survival Tips
- Your senses are now super human – use these to your advantage and impress your buddies.
- Sight is much sharper so spotting hot girls will be easy.
- Hearing is now incredibly acute so you can eavesdrop on whoever you want.
- Smell is a 100 times more sensitive – OK, not always a good thing!
- Got any allergies or afflictions? Forget about them, they won’t be troubling you anymore. Remember, you’re super human
- You will suddenly be very good at sports, so join as many teams at school as you can – this will make you even cooler, especially with the ladies.
- You might want to keep a distance from the family pets. They are unlikely to take well to your new condition! Act cool when animals get nervous.
- Your dreams willbecome vivid and exciting; don’t be alarmed by how real they are. Let them take you on an imaginative journey!
- Stay away from the family’s best silver; you might find a slight aversion to it!
- Like any teenager, get used to waking up in strange places. But we mean forests, roads and swimming pools, not a stranger’s bedroom floor!
- Don’t worry about injuries, being a werewolf means you can heal really quickly, like crazy quickly!
- Socialise. Go online and meet other Teen Wolves, use social networks like Howl.com, the call sign of the wolf. Your wolf peers can help you come to terms with your new life.
- Get a plan in place for the next full moon so you don’t harm anyone when you transform, your new teen wolf friends can help you with this, so confide in those you trust.
- Transformation will begin with dizziness and sweating, followed by enlargement of the teeth and nails before rapid hair growth. When this happens just go with it, but ensure you are in a safe place!
Most of all, do not worry, you are not alone. Remember, you are not a monster. Try to come to terms with your new status – TEEN WOLVES are way cool!
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1 comment
It would be better if you bring back the hunger games news. Cause at least I can masturbate to Jennifer Lawrences face.